6 Lies Pornography Tells Us

Fake Rose Seduction

People can wind up trapped in porn through many different ways. Some people intentionally seek it out for various reasons, some are exposed to it by no fault of their own but then find themselves returning to it again and again, and others go slowly and subtly. They walk down a long, dark, gradually declining path, not realizing where they are going until one day they look up and wonder how they got so lost.

If you read my testimony, you know that I have been there, and that last description, that slow fade, is how I fell. I want to bring that to light today. I don’t do this because it is fun to talk about – it isn’t – but because I pray that by exposing how I drifted, God will save others from that same path before they wander as far as I did.

You see, I never wanted to look at pornography. I didn’t even know what it was really. What I wanted was to be wanted. I wanted to be chosen and loved by a guy. I dreamed about what that would be like constantly, but my view of it was tainted by the romance thrown in our face by Hollywood and our romance-crazy culture.

I never expressed any of these thoughts or feelings to my parents. For some reason it seemed too weird to talk about. I had never really cared about boys before, and I didn’t want to lose that “all cool and doesn’t care” status. Yet while I maintained that face, my heart was totally swept away.

Fed by media and the internet for my original ideas of what a relationship looks like, I turned there again. I figured it would be harmless.

“How do you know if someone likes you?”

“5 ways to get a guy to notice you”

Then I started thinking, what about after I was in a relationship? I wasn’t allowed to date, but one day I would be able to. And I knew I would save my kiss until my wedding (although at that point I don’t know if that was as much my personal conviction as it was just obeying my parents), but one day I would be married and what then?? I continued seeking out the vast store of information the world offered me through the internet, but it escalated quickly.

“How to kiss”

“How to make him want to kiss you”

and so on and so on…

While originally I was interested in information and mostly read articles, I soon found that images were more enticing than words. So I started searching for pictures. Then pictures became boring and so I went on to videos. I never in all of that stopped to think about what I was really doing. I never saw it coming, even as I was walking right into it. In fact, I remember a moment where I thought “Oh… so this is pornography…” By that point, I was in too deep and had no idea how to escape.

So how did I get there? What happened? It started all the way at the beginning, deep deep down, as a heart problem. I spent more time fantasizing about my desires and soaking in the world’s views than I did seeking God. I craved love, but looked for it in shallow places, like boys, while in reality God’s love is the only love capable of satisfying that thirst in my heart.

If porn – or any sin – looked as evil and disgusting as it really was, we would probably never give in to any of it. Instead, they present themselves as small and harmless or as pretty and desirable. These are six lies that pornography presents us with, things it tells us it will give us but never can, and the truth behind those pretty bows and packages.

1. Pleasure

Porn promises us pleasure, but that pleasure won’t last. God offers us a deeper, lasting pleasure when our hearts and minds are solely fixed on Him.

“There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.” – Proverbs 14:12

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4

2. Connection

We desire a deep connection.  Pornography tells us it will be enough to quiet that ache, but God is the one who sees us and hears us.  He reaches down into our soul and can comfort our loneliness with His divine presence.

“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalm 73:23-26

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.” – Psalm 139:1-5

3. Acceptance

Like connection, we crave acceptance.  We believe that sex will touch us deeply enough to quiet our fears that we are too flawed or not good enough, and so pornography lures us in.  However, the truth is that we are already chosen and accepted by God exactly as we are!

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” – 1 Peter 2:9

“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will” – Ephesians 1:4-5

4. Love

God has given us a desire to be loved, but the “love” that pornography offers us is fake.  Jesus is love – true, enduring, never-failing love.

The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” – Jeremiah 31:3

“Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.” – Isaiah 43:4

“This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” – 1 John 4:9-10

5. Fulfillment and Satisfaction

There is an emptiness we all feel inside of us.  Pornography tells us it has what we need to satisfy that hole in our heart, but nothing in this world can satisfy us.  That emptiness is a place that only God can fill.

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” – John 4:13-14

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.” – Psalm 1:1-3

6. Escape and Peace

Pornography says it can give us a break from the craziness, stress, and pain of life.  It promises us a relief.  We do need relief, but using sex like a drug to ease our minds won’t give us what we need.  God is our refuge and our peace when we can’t take what life is throwing at us.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27

“How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you. In the shelter of your presence you hide them from all human intrigues; you keep them safe in your dwelling from accusing tongues.” – Psalm 31:19-20

Whatever it is you might be dealing with, whatever you may be facing, Jesus is everything you need to get through it.  Don’t look anywhere else but to Him.  Intentionally spend time learning from Him and growing closer to Him.  When we absentmindedly go through life, we will eventually wake up and wonder where we are and how we got there.  Actively stay in His Light, and the darkness cannot overtake you.  The lies cannot defeat the Truth.  He is all you need and everything you need.  Seek Him first, and seek Him alone.

~Amanda

Resources:
5 Ways Our Culture Is Grooming Your Daughter For Porn
7 Essentials To Porn Proof Your Child

6 Comments

  1. whoa i didnt think girls fall into it also .
    well i also went to it
    but like you i didnt know it was wrong .
    i didnt even know this is porn
    but thank god i didnt like it .
    a day came a thought came to me ,its boring instead of see it
    i can see some action or christian movie and i left it
    the next day a teacher is saying it is bad to see it .
    i thank god because i left it before i went deep into it .

    but i fell into the other one as a effect of porn which girls dont have a problem but guys do.
    for guys
    once you left porn it doesnt end another one follows masturbation
    which is much more hard to leave than porn
    i did it ,i thought its nothing wrong because docs say its not bad but counselors say it is bad so iam confused .
    but when i know it was bad i was addicted to it unlike porn(i left porn easily and not addicted to porn)
    then the only thing i could say is “whoa i did see that coming”
    then its a big story ,now i came to know that god has a reason because he wanted me to help others like me.
    i can help others only if i fell,wake,and left
    its a really bad experience but now i could help others.

    je parle franci .
    iam in revive with the same name .

    god has a plan for me , you said right?
    his plan is with your experience in it you have to help others free from it .which you are already doing .
    he has reason for everything .dont throw the blame not yourself because you saw porn .you saw it and left it so that you could help others

    1. Hey Joel! 🙂

      I’m glad this spoke to you. And yes, pornography is a problem both girls and guys face. All sin is, sexual or not. No one is immune, not even because of gender. Guys and girls are all vulnerable to pornography, masturbation, and everything else. I believe this is because lust is really a sin issue rather than a sex issue. I am sorry to hear you also know what entanglement in these sins is like, but praise the Lord that He delivered you as well! I think masturbation and pornography use a lot of the same lies, so in some ways I find them very similar. I have seen through my own experience as well as the stories I know from others that masturbation can feel more difficult to stop than porn use, although porn is highly addictive as well. However, as you just said, it is possible to stop as masturbating as well. All sin has been equally defeated through Jesus’ death and resurrection.

      You are also correct that God can use you to help others stuck in the same situation now, as He is allowing me to do. It is really a beautiful thing to see Him work such miraculous freedom and good out of even our worst decisions. I will say though, that while yes we can relate on a more personal level to people who have been where we have been, I don’t believe we have to have fallen as well to be able to help. For one, God’s truth is what they need, and that is available and just as effective regardless of what roads we have or have not walked down. But also, you don’t have to have given in to be able to understand. If you do give in, yes, God will still redeem that and use it, but having looked down a road and said “no” to it is just as powerful of a testimony and can still be used to help reach others. I hope that is some encouragement to you. I’ve been faced with the “you can’t reach them if you haven’t been there yourself” idea too, but it’s just not true. God knows where the people we encounter are in their walk, and He can guide you in what to say even if you haven’t gone through what they have.

      Thank you for sharing your story with us, and for your willingness to be open and help others. Praise God for this freedom we have in Christ! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *