Pornography: A Cycle of Selfishness

Porn starts small, but it grows, and with it comes a self-centered and selfish lifestyle. It’s something we do completely for our own pleasure and satisfaction. We blind ourselves to how it hurts others, and we relish the feeling it feeds us. It taints our whole outlook on life. We become isolated from others and quick-tempered when we are around them, as though we just don’t care about God or others but only ourselves and what we can get from things. Our life becomes an endless cycle of chasing empty feelings and looking for fulfillment. We are like a dog chasing its tail, always going, but never quite catching it.

In this sinful lifestyle, God becomes an object that we use from time to time to ease our conscience rather than an intimate Father that we have a loving relationship with. We move from Him — our source of joy and delight — to the fake feelings and pleasures of pornorgaphy. This very often leads to a depressed state. Our heart is slowly dying from being away from its true source of life, yet we are still unwilling to give up the pleasures that this poison offers us for the life that Jesus gives.

When we try to satisfy ourselves through pornography we actually accomplish the exact opposite, and we end up making our life more empty and miserable. Our self-centeredness leads to our constant pleasure-seeking, which leads us to porn. Pornography then teaches us that only our own pleasure matters once again. This escalates our self-centered problem even more, and our heightened selfishness adds more desire to our porn consumption. We begin to take less account of the time we spend with it and of the effects it has on our life, and so it’s an out-of-control cycle, spiraling down and down. One thing feeds the other, leading us down this spiral staircase.

When we appeal to our own pleasures, we forsake our purpose in life, laying aside what counts in eternity for just a moment’s pleasure. It’s such a shallow and empty thing, and the pleasure we find never lasts long. Just as soon as it picks you up, it turns around and throws you back down. God never intended for us to do this and live such a selfish lifestyle. We will never be satisfied if we are trying to find our satisfaction in pornography, relationships, or anything aside from God and His calling for our lives. That’s because we were not made to fulfill ourselves! And that’s why, in trying to do so, we feel so empty. We were made to give glory and praise to God. We were made to love and respect one another in a sacrificial way.

God has a special plan and purpose for everyone, even the porn addict. His heart’s desire is for them to come to Him so that they can be freed from their heavy burden and know the life found in Him. God designed sex, and He designed it to be a very good thing that honors the man and the woman, and that gives glory to God for His beautiful creation. Everyone can honor God with their sexuality right now by being pure with their choices both public and private and not abusing what He created.  For those who are married, practicing abstinence from anyone other than your spouse, being patient with your spouse, and staying pure even in your thought life towards them is God’s definite, revealed will for you within your marriage. Even for those who are not married, your abstinence, patience, and purity is God’s greater purpose for your life at this time.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” — Romans 12:1-2

We have to realize there is a greater purpose beyond our life and this moment we are living in now. We must decide to sacrifice what we want now for what God wants now and in the future, both for us and for the rest of the world. In order to do that we must trust Him. We need to believe, not just with our head but with our heart, that God is good and that what He has for us is best.  When we doubt that, we start looking to ourselves and our own ways to find something better than God’s plan for us, but there is nothing better!  When we fully trust God’s plan and His heart for us, it becomes easier to let go of what we want and what we think will satisfy.  This then enables us to look beyond ourselves and to those around us.  It kills the selfish mindset we were trapped in before.  We can sacrifice ourselves and our desires to receive what God has for us, trusting that we aren’t missing out on anything.  And when we are surrendered to God’s will like that, He can come in and work freely in our hearts and minds.  He can clear out the lies and undo the selfish perspective we have been living in.  He can open our eyes to the people around us and to His greater purpose.  Then we will find freedom from that destructive cycle of selfishness.

~Grant & Amanda


  1. I am not sure if I agree with you what you wrote. There are always variables.

    Let’s put you in the same position and see what your reaction is… Imagine being born with Klinefeltner Syndrome (look it up) Imagine that you are a man with female breasts. Imagine that you are ugly, overweight, going bald, horrible teeth, arthritis, cancer, Incredible pain, and have been in the hospital more often than all your family and friends combined. Imagine that you will be completely alone forever. You are unmarried, no children, never had a real serious relationship, ever and you never will have one. Every morning you wake up you see your hideous self. The only pleasure you have is soft porn. You are saying that you could deviate from this behavior, this incredible depressing mental state and have a one on one relationship with God and you would be totally satisfied? Oh, and you have been living this way for 50 years.

    Please share your thoughts and insights. I am quite curious.

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